


Seasons Change in Cycles

by Liv4Death



Category: NCT (Band), NU'EST
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, No beta we die like mne, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Tags Are Hard, fleeting angst, more tags will be added if i ever get enough sleep, seasonal personalities, so much fluff its so fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:23:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29648502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liv4Death/pseuds/Liv4Death
Summary: Jonghyun meets Taeyong in spring, and instantly he falls in love with the boy that changes like the seasons.(Written for overprimrose)
Relationships: Kim Jonghyun | JR/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	Seasons Change in Cycles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [overprimrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/overprimrose/gifts).



> This is for my irl best friend Becca (aka overprimrose). Taeyong is my bias and her's is JR and I take a lot of joy from knowing that my best friend's bias is my bias' best friend. This fic references a lot of her work, and although I haven't read any of her finished fics, we have talked enough that I have a basic knowledge of most of her work. Anyways this is in honor of her birthday cuz I'm broke, and all I have to give are inside jokes.

Jonghyun met Taeyong on the first day of spring.

Dragging himself out of his apartment, Jonghyun felt the damp air cling to his skin. The morning’s warm rain was a nice change from the last few months of cold, dry air. Sick of being holed up inside for all of winter, Jonghyun promised himself he’d try to get some sun the minute the weather cleared up, even if it was just wandering around looking lost, like he was currently doing.

Jonghyun walked around for nearly 20 minutes, debating to himself whether it was worth his money to buy ice cream or not. Despite having worked a 9 to 5 job all winter, Jonghyun had little money to spend only a year out of college. An ice cream cone wouldn’t break the bank, but he had ice cream at home, although that was in a tub and he was really in the mood for a crunchy waffle cone and if he-

“ _Shhhhhhh_ _please calm down, I promise I’ll get you to your mommy soon!_ ”

The sound of a small bird incessantly chirping filtered into Jonghyun’s ears as he realizes he’s wandered into the park behind his apartment. Curious, Jonghyun followed the sound of tiny squawking until he came to a patch of foliage being circled by a bird overhead.

Stepping gently through the flowering bushes, Jonghyun saw a patch of flowers stirring up ahead. The sound of chirping grew louder as Jonghyun approached.

“I’m so sorry I’m not taller, I’ll get you up somehow!”

Jonghyun nearly jumped out of his skin at the proximity of the voice in front of him. The man’s green hair camouflaged his head well. For a brief second, Jonghyun wondered if he had stumbled upon some woodland fairy that would lead him deep into the woods, only for him to be lost forever, before deciding that the thought alone was ridiculous and he really needed to get out more.

And also maybe he should help this man sitting on the ground holding the crying baby bird.

Wait, _holding_?

Before he could stop himself, the reprimand fell out of his mouth.

“Don’t touch it!”

His voice wasn’t loud, but the sudden sound shocked the green haired man in front of him. Thankfully the weird man was already on the ground or else he would have fallen backwards.

“Careful!” Jonghyun lurched forward to grab the man’s wrist, ensuring that the baby bird would not be dropped. The other man took a second to recover and Jonghyun carefully lowered himself down to one knee, grimacing at the dirt beginning to cling to his pants. “You shouldn’t be touching baby birds!”

The man with green hair looked up at him before looking down at the baby bird and then up to the tree in front of them.

“I’m sorry! I heard him crying and I wanted to help! He’s too young to be out of the nest, he doesn’t even have feathers!”

Jonghyun looked at the nest and then the baby bird.

“I promise!” The green haired man continued, “I looked it up on my phone. Apparently even if they still look fuzzy they’ll still be able to leave the nest but I looked at pictures and this one is definitely too young, if you don’t believe me i can show you th-”

“Ok, ok. I believe you.”Jonghyun stopped him from rambling further. “So how do we get it back into the nest?”

The other man looked defeated, “I tried but I just can’t reach,”

Jonghyun rose to his feet, pulling the other up by the arm so he wouldn’t have to let go of the bird.

“I have an idea, it’s a bad idea, but it’s an idea.” Jonghyun motioned for the other man to follow him to the tree. “I think if you get on my shoulders, you may be able to reach the nest.”

“That is a bad idea, but if it gets this baby birdie back safely, then I’ll give it a try.”

Jonghyun knelt down on the ground once again, “Use one hand to balance yourself against the tree and hold the bird in the other hand, if I stand up slowly, we should be fine”

The other hesitated, “But what if I drop him…”

“You won’t,” Jonghyun blindly reassured the other, “I believe in you.”

The green haired man smiled at the cheesiness and moved towards the tree. Holding the baby bird in one hand and placing the other against the trunk of the tree, he gently placed himself on top of Jonghyun’s shoulders.

“You ready?” Jonghyun heard a hum of confirmation from the other. “Ok, 3… 2… 1,”

Jonghyun slowly rose up on his knees. The man on top of him was careful not to drop the bird as Jonghyun was careful not to drop the man himself. The moment it took to stand up on his feet was the longest moment of Jonghyun’s life. The other man wasn’t large, he was pretty tiny for a guy in fact, but it had been months since Jonghyun had even seen a gym, and even now he regrets skipping all those leg days.

“It’s ok birdie, easy now... “ Jonghyun’s legs quivered underneath him as the other man gently placed the baby bird back in the nest with it’s siblings. “And there! Now, you’re back safe, try not to fall next time! I don’t want you getting hurt since you were so lucky this time-”

Jonghyun’s knees buckled, sending both men tumbling down into a nearby bush.

Dazed, both men sat there for a second before the other burst out laughing. Embarrassment flowed through Jonghyun as he thought of millions of apologies at once. With a groan he sat up to reorient himself with his surroundings. They both had fallen right into a bush with purple flowers, Jonghyun having nearly flattened his half, watched as his giggling counterpart attempted to move the foliage between the two.

Any apology Jonghyun had died on his lips as the look on the green haired man’s face changed from amusement to shock.

“Don’t. Move.”

Jonghyun froze in position and the other man searched the ground for something. A tickling sensation made his eyebrow twitch, and the feeling continued down to his temple.

“Am I _bleeding_!?”

Jonghyun brought his hand up to wipe at his brow, but the other man caught him by the wrist. The grip was so tight, there was a real chance the green haired man could feel his speeding pulse, but there wasn’t time to worry about that.

“No! It’s perfect, now don’t move a muscle.”

Jonghyun sat still as Taeyong raised his phone, which had also fallen into the bush, and snapped a few pictures.

“Ok, look natural.”

“What do you mean look natural?” Jonghyun huffed out, but complied anyways, choosing to contemplate the color of the flowers in front of him. Purple was nice but he preferred pinker flowers. At least they hadn’t fallen in a rose bush or anything with thorns because that would have been great. His first time outside in nature since winter and he ends up maimed by a bush because he-

“Perfect!” The green haired man looked satisfied with what was in the photos. Before Jonghyun could ask any question, the other man reached forward and gently pushed Jonghyun’s hair out of his eyes. Jonghyun himself choked on air but before he could make any other move, the other’s slim hand returned to view, this time with a butterfly perched on one finger. Jonghyun looked at the other man in awe as the other man gently handled the delicate insect.

Jonghyun felt his own butterflies fly around in his stomach. Reaching for his own phone, Jonghyun was careful not to move too quickly. The man holding the butterfly noticed the action and held out his hand for the picture.

After snapping a few photos of just the butterfly, a small idea popped up in Jonghyun’s head. Leaning back, Jonghyun adjusted his position to get both the butterfly and the man holding it in the picture. The other man noticed and let out a small smile, making Jonghyun’s stomach and heart flutter.

In a split second, the butterfly took off, flying away in search of another flower. Probably one that wasn’t flattened by two idiots.

The two of them sat in silence in the bush for a moment, watching it fly away until it was out of view. The green haired man spoke softly.

“Can I see?”

Jonghyun blinked at the vague question, before the other clarified.

“The pictures I mean, can I see the pictures you took?”

Jonghyun nodded silently before handing over his phone, watching how the other’s face brightened while looking through the pictures. For a moment, Jonghyun wished he could stare at the other’s face for eternity.

The green haired man looked up suddenly, causing Jonghyun to be mildly embarrassed that he was caught staring.

“Is it ok if I send these to myself?”

Jonghyun didn’t trust his mouth not to respond with something along the lines of ‘you could snap my phone in half and I’d be fine with that’ and instead nodded to the request.

The green haired man smiled before quickly typing in a number and sending the pictures to his own phone. Once the other’s screen lit up, he stood up quickly before handing back Jonghyun’s phone.

“Thanks so much! Also thank you for helping me save the baby bird!”

With that, the man left with a bounce in his step, staring at his phone with a large smile still stuck to his face.

Jonghyun sat for a moment in silence, processing the entire event that had just transpired. Opening his phone, Jonghyun saw the screen was left on the picture the other had sent to himself. Not a moment later a message popped up on the screen.

_**By the way, I’m Taeyong :3** _

_**We should hang out sometime, I’ll buy you ice cream since I made you fall into a bush after helping me~** _

Jonghyun held his phone to his chest for a moment before replying.

**_Hi Taeyong, I’m Jonghyun!_ **

**_I would love to hang out sometime!_ **

And with that, Jonghyun decided that he had enough of outside and headed back to his place.

Jonghyun and Taeyong were quick friends.

Having texted over most of spring, the two got to know a lot about each other. They both liked to dance, they both played video games, they both were soft for animals…

But despite this, they hadn’t met again in person yet, each attempt at a coffee chat had been interfered with by some prior commitment. It took until a week into summer for both of them to have matching free time.

At some point, Taeyong had asked Jonghyun out to a summer festival in town.

It wasn’t exactly a date, but they did plan on making a day out of it.

Jonghyun stood under a tree, desperately seeking escape from the brutal sun that refused to even go near a cloud. He waited for Taeyong right outside of an ever enticing ice cream stand, intending to hold the other to his promise of buying him a cone. Playing with his phone, Jonghyun didn’t notice Taeyong’s presence until his device was snatched right from his hands.

Jonghyun looked up to complain but his words stopped in their tracks. For some reason, he hadn’t considered that the other could have anything but green hair.

But right in front of him, Taeyong stood there with sandy blond hair, cut slightly shorter but still long enough to move when a cold breeze rolled by. Jonghyun managed to close his mouth, but his eyes still lingered on the hair.

Taeyong must have noticed the staring and looked a little sheepish.

“Oh right, I dyed my hair. What do you think?”

“I love it, it’s great.” Jonghyun reassured the other, and that’s all it took for Taeyong to light up again. In all honesty, Taeyong looked like a completely different person. But Jonghyun had stared at pictures of the other enough all spring to recognize those shining eyes anywhere.

“Great! Now let’s get this ice cream.”

The two walked through the festival for most of the day, going from one stall to another, trying all of the food and drinks. Jonghyun didn’t walk as much as he was dragged by the hand through the festival by his blond friend, but he wasn’t about to start complaining. They stopped at each and every booth, trying and failing at small carnival games. Taeyong’s determination to win a toast plushie was admirable, but the amount of tries it took to win was frustrating to Jonghyun, who was just watching.

“You know, at this point I could have just bought you the plushie, and we still wouldn’t have spent even a tenth of what we just did.” Jonghyun complained to the other while adjusting a weird yellow dinosaur plushie that had to have been larger than his own torso.

Taeyong stuck his tongue out at Jonghyun.

“Yea but that’s not _fun_ , and you, my friend, need a lot more fun in your life!” Taeyong skipped away to the next booth holding his toast plushie, leaving Jonghyun behind carrying all the other stuffed animals they had managed to win in the meantime.

Jonghyun didn’t remember the other being quite this energetic. Excitement practically radiated off of Taeyong as he bounced around the festival, laughing loudly and talking nearly nonstop. Apparently Taeyong had a daredevil streak in him as he insisted on making Jonghyun try every carnival ride available. Anything from the swings and teacups to something that looked like a ferris wheel but the caged compartments would spin instead of just hang. The gentle nurturing man that saved the baby bird was nowhere to be seen as Taeyong seemed intent on giving Jonghyun a heart attack from all the adrenaline, unwilling to let the other turn down a single ride. It was exhausting and it was fun and at the end of the night the two stumbled to a nearby hill, legs finally giving out, to wait for the evening firework show.

The two laid in the now cooling grass, each taking stock of their respective toys and snacks accumulated throughout the day.

“You know,” Jonghyun waited for Taeyong to stop fighting with the cotton candy bag to continue, “you know, this is the most fun I’ve had in a really long time,”

Taeyong’s eyes lit up.

“Really? You must not get out much. We should make this a weekly thing! I heard there’s an arts festival coming up and we should check it out together!”

The thought of another festival was exhausting, but Jonghyun couldn’t find it in him to refuse the bubbly man.

“Absolutely, I’m holding you to that zoo promise you made in exchange for that ship ride you failed to mention would swing upside down.”

Taeyong smiled before picking up his bubble tea, holding it out to Jonghyun. Jonghyun picked up his own tea and clinked it against Taeyong’s in a sugary toast to fun times.

Taeyong’s smile was still visible while he sipped through the pink straw and Jonghyun couldn’t help but also smile. Though he liked pink, Jonghyun himself had picked a green straw, having been reminded of the other’s spring colored hair.

The firework show started and for the first time in a while, Jonghyun looked forward to a summer of long days outside the house.

As energetic as summer Taeyong was, Taeyong in the fall felt a bit more dangerous.

Colder weather brought on a wardrobe of leather jackets, dark jeans, and on top of it all, bright red hair.

Taeyong’s hair matched the traffic light that shined over the cross walk they waited at. It was late at night, and they were walking to a club Taeyong had insisted they had to go to.

Not being much of the club going type, Jonghyun had gotten ready at Taeyong’s place, a small apartment not far from his. The other had given him a button up loose black shirt to wear, only buttoned halfway upon Taeyong’s request, and had even offered to do his makeup. Jonghyun agreed, having long ago given into the fact that he couldn’t resist any request from the other man.

So there they stood, Jonghyun in his smeared eyeliner and Taeyong in his sheer shirt and smokey eye, walking on their way to the line for the club entrance.

The two had been club hopping all night, going from club to club, having a few drinks and dancing a bit before moving to the next club on Taeyong’s list. The red haired man had insisted on a ‘variety pack’ of clubs, intent on finding Jonghyun’s favorite ‘type’.

The tiki bar themed club was fun, and the prison themed club was interesting, but Jonghyun had really taken to the zoo club. Surrounded by the jungle theme Jonghyun had drunkenly admitted to dreaming of being a zoo keeper/marine biologist. Taeyong had then responded with a promise to buy the other a fish tank. It was a start at least.

The night was cold, but the shots that they had taken earlier warmed their chests. Apparently Taeyong was a bit of a lightweight, and with very little he was already buzzed.

After handing over a few dollars to the bouncers, the two made their way into the club, with the bass blasting, the music was deafening. A more modern vibe, there were glittering chandeliers hung high on the ceiling, the bar was backed with mirrors and lit with LEDs along the bar top. There was even a wall of roses with the club’s name, meant to encourage clubbers to post group photos for free advertisement.

It was packed with people dancing, drinking, drinking and dancing, and everyone trying to shout over the music.

Jonghyun and Taeyong didn’t need words though.

Taeyong moved through the crowd, holding Jonghyun’s hand so as not to lose him, something that was becoming a common thing for them. The small man seemed used to the tight crowd as he slipped his way past people and led the both of them to the bar.

Taeyong ordered something Jonghyun couldn’t hear, and out came two bright blue colored shots. Clinking the shot glasses together, the two made cheers to their first night out club hopping together and to many more to come.

After finishing his shot, Taeyong immediately made his way to the dance floor, leaving Jonghyun to have another drink. Jonghyun wasn’t as buzzed as Taeyong and absolutely felt he needed another drink before he felt ready to dance.

Jonghyun sat at the bar, sipping his drink, watching Taeyong do his thing. Jonghyun marveled at how Taeyong could switch between both men and women dancing fluidly in the crowd like it was his job. Quickly downing his drink, Jonghyun decided he wanted in on the fun and joined his friend on the dance floor.

The two danced together, they danced alone, danced with other people, and with the same people. They danced between drink breaks, they danced with drinks still in their hands, and by the end of the night both staggered their way out of the club and on their way to Taeyong’s apartment to sober up.

“No friend of mine is walking home _drunk_!” Taeyong slurred out as the two made their way into the apartment.

“ _We_ just did!” Jonghyun flopped on the couch as Taeyong went to get two cold waters.

“No friend of mine is walking home _alone_ and _drunk_ ”

“Whatever, give me that water before I die” Taeyong tossed the water bottle to Jonghyun, hitting him square in the chest. “Oof, easy, I think I pulled something while dancing, can you even pull a chest muscle dancing?”

“The way you dance? I wouldn’t doubt it.” Taeyong teased.

Slowly they both started sobering up, sharing stories of the moments when they got separated briefly. Taeyong allowed Jonghyun to borrow the shower so he wouldn’t get the bed ‘gross with club germs’. The two changed into pajamas before Jonghyun noticed something.

“Excuse me, what is this?” Jonghyun poked at a particularly dark bruise on the other’s neck. Taeyong’s neck was littered with hickeys that he had somehow got while Jonghyun was either in the crowd dancing or in the bathroom also dancing.

“Ow! Stop, it’s just a few love bites, nothing serious.” Taeyong smacked Jonghyun playfully before getting under the covers.

“Wow, didn’t think you were the type, I almost feel cheated on. Where is the innocent boy saving baby animals I met six months ago?” Jonghyun meant for it to be teasing, but Taeyong’s smile faltered slightly, and for a second he feared he had really offended the other.

“Let’s just say I can change like the seasons.” Taeyong got comfy as Jonghyun joined him in the bed. “I hope you can keep up with me though, because fluffy Taeyong's not coming back until spring.”

“Is that a challenge?” Jonghyun joked but in all honesty he was wondering how he was going to be clubbing Friday and Saturday nights every week for the foreseeable future.

“Do you like a good challenge?” Taeyong asked with a mischievous smirk. Jonghyun groaned.

“Ask me again in the morning, if I can’t get up before noon, then the answer is no.”

Fall came and went just as Jonghyun predicted, weekends full of parties, clubs, and socializing. It was so much socializing. So it was strange when Jonghyun didn’t hear from Taeyong for nearly a week.

It was even stranger when he didn’t hear from Taeyong for two weeks.

At first, Jonghyun tried to play it cool, not double texting, only attempting contact once a day. But after day 10 with no sign of Taeyong, Jonghyun began to worry.

After the two week mark of the last time he had seen or heard from the other, Jonghyung grabbed the spare key Taeyong had given him in case of emergencies, and headed over to the other’s apartment.

The entire way over, Jonghyun had imagined all sorts of scenarios of what he could walk into when entering the other’s apartment. So when he unlocked the door and stepped into an eerily dark and quiet apartment, Jonghyun found himself more than a little unnerved.

Unwilling to break the heavy silence, Jonghyun didn’t bother calling out the other’s name and instead made his way to the other’s bedroom.

There laid a clump of blankets with a mop of white hair sticking out. Walking around to what he hoped was a sleeping figure, the lump slowly rose, blinking bleary eyes at the other.

“Jonghyun?”

The boy’s voice was groggy and Jonghyun felt his heart pull in his chest.

“Hey Yong, sorry for breaking in uninvited, but I’ve been worried… “

Taeyong rubbed at his eyes. “What day is it?” Jonghyun showed the other his phone screen. “I’m sorry.”

Jonghyung gently sat next to the other, “What for?”

“For being like this, I guess,”

Jonghyun wasn’t stupid. This was every sign of a seasonal depressive episode if he knew anything.

“That’s alright. Here, sit up and I’ll get you something to drink.”

Coming back with hot chocolate and some saltine crackers, Jonghyun waited patiently for the other to sip on his drink.

“Sorry if I worried you, I should have warned you I can get like this…”

“Don’t apologize, you are safe and sound and I found you, ok? That's all I could ask for. Would you like me to stay?”

“You don’t have to…”

“I know I don’t have to but I’m willing to, so would you like me to?” Taeyong nodded. Jonghyun took off his jacket, changing into some old pajamas he had left behind some weeks earlier. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be here until you are ready to talk to me.” Jonghyun got into the bed to sit close to the other under the covers, feeling pleased when Taeyong immediately snuggled in closer. The other was so cold, and Jonghyun couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around his friend.

It took until the hot chocolate was finished and half the pack of crackers was gone before Taeyong spoke again.

“I get like this every winter.”

Jonghyung looked at the other, his friend’s red rimmed eyes a stark contrast against the white hair.

“So like seasonal depression? I figured as much.”

Jonghyun reached up to brush Taeyong’s hair out of his face, but his wrist was quickly caught by the other. A small stab at the heart, for better or for worse.

“No, you don’t understand. It’s a bit more… complicated than that. It’s really hard to explain.”

Jonghyun twisted his wrist until he was holding the other’s hand gently.

“Do your best to explain it to me, then.”

Taeyong sighed heavily before grabbing a pillow with his free hand, seemingly unwilling to let go of his friend’s hand. Jonghyun gave his hand a squeeze of encouragement. Taeyong took a deep breath.

“You’ve probably noticed but, the seasons tend to affect me a lot, not just winter, but all of them.” The other nodded for him to continue. “I don’t really understand why, but I’ve been like this all my life. It’s lost me a lot of friends, having an inconsistent personality doesn’t make me the easiest person to connect to. I understand if you prefer different seasons of me. Some of my friends have agreed that we’ll stick to hanging out in spring and summer, others have been content to get together only during the fall season. I can’t really blame them though, as hard as it is for them, I also struggle to relate to them when the weather gets warmer or colder and my entire outlook on things changes. It might just be my natural personality, but honestly it feels like a curse sometimes, especially when winter comes. I spend all winter just waiting for spring again.”

Jonghyun wanted to argue that those people didn’t sound like friends at all, but in all honesty he could understand. After all, he’d known Taeyong for nearly a year and had seen four drastically different versions of his friend. But Jonghyun never found any harm in a little variety.

“Well, I’ve enjoyed being with you each season so far, and I’m sure I can work with this. How do you feel about pirating movies off the internet?”

Taeyong let out a tired laugh but stood up anyway.

“There’s some popcorn in the kitchen you can microwave, I’ll get my laptop.”

And at the end of the night when Taeyong fell asleep, curled into the other’s chest, Jonghyun found himself happier than he was last winter despite everything.

When spring rolled back around, the scramble for freetime for weekly coffee dates started up again.

The two had gotten much closer over winter, Jonghyun spending much of his time in the other’s apartment. They made the most of their time together, having sleepovers and binge watching shows. And on days Taeyong had enough energy, they would even play some games together.

Jonghyun decided that he could see the relationship going further.

The two made a birdwatching date, both finding a bit of time to hang out together once the weather got warmer.

Jonghyun was not prepared for the soft pink hair that now sat on top of the other’s head. Taeyong had just laughed and the look of surprise on Jonghyun’s face, bring a dumb smile to them both.

They walked through the woods holding hands, pointing out birds and smaller animals they saw along the way. Jonghyun even pulled Taeyong over to a patch of pink flowers, joking that the plant couldn’t compete with the other, and that Taeyong was officially his new favorite flower. The bright smile the other gave him was worth all the internal cringe.

They continued on with their walk while talking, having conversations about anything and everything. For some of the way, they both stayed silent, each content just to be in the other’s presence, their hands enough of a connection to keep both of them tethered to the other.

By the time they looped around to their starting point, Jonghyun decided it was either now or never. He had to ask the question.

Gently taking the other’s free hand, Jonghyun forced Taeyong to face him while holding both his hands.

Whereas Jonghyun’s hands were obviously clammy from his nervousness, the other seemed to light up with an idea of where this could be going.

“Taeyong I-”

“We should totally date.”

“Excuse me?”

It wasn’t exactly what Jonghyun had planned to say, but it was roughly the same, and having the other beat him to it startled him. Taeyong however seemed unfazed by the other’s response, bouncing from foot to foot with excitement

“I said, we should totally date! I can tell you want to ask me and honestly I’m not leaving it up to chance for you to back down at the last second. I’m sorry, did I steal your spotlight?”

Taeyong’s face however showed he was not sorry at all, an all to pleased smile on his face. Jonghyun shook his head in disbelief only stopping when Taeyong placed a quick and sweet kiss on his lips. Jonghyun couldn’t stop himself from smiling with the other then.

“You sure are something else, Yongie.”

Taeyong’s smile got even brighter.

“Yongie? I like that.”

Days later, when the two were baking confetti cupcakes, in celebration of their ‘cupcake phase’ as Taeyong put it, sharing small sugary kisses and getting flour all over the place, Jonghyun realized the other was quickly going from ‘my boyfriend’ to ‘the love of my life’, and honestly, he was at peace with that.

Summer Taeyong took Jonghyun everywhere.

The beach? Done. Jonghyun still had sand in his shoes from all the long walks on the beach. The two had gone boat riding together at some point. Taeyong had shown a lot of enjoyment watching his boyfriend obsessively put a life jacket on them both for the ride. It wasn’t Jonghyun’s fault he wanted to keep his boyfriend in the land of the living, regardless if the other four guys on the boat had laughed at the display of love. Just because they didn’t wear their life jackets didn’t mean he was about to let his boyfriend do the same.

The music festival? Experienced. Jonghyun’s feet had hurt for a full week after the ordeal, but the two came out of the festival with matching face paint and flower crowns of strong smelling flowers with a scent that followed them for days. Though it was probably because Jonghyun had refused to get rid of the crowns, instead opting to dry them for keepsakes.

The trip up to the mountains for hiking? Miserable, but it was great for photos. And the two still had to walk off all the baked goods they had consumed in spring. Taeyong was a great chef and baker, and Jonghyun’s physique was paying the price for it. But in all honesty, few trips to the gym were well worth his boyfriend’s cooking.

Taeyong dragged Jonghyun through the crowded streets, stopping at every street vendor that had something even remotely interesting for sale. Whether wooden frog instruments, hats made of alpaca wool, and charms made of scrap metal classified as interesting, Jonghyun didn’t know, but Taeyong stopped at each shop anyways.

“Babe! Look at this!”

“Taeyong you can’t be serious.”

The aforementioned boyfriend had found a fish patterned bucket hat and immediately pulled it onto his head. Jonghyun quickly snatched the hat away, leaving a mess of the other’s newly dyed brown hair.

“Oh come on, it’s not _that_ bad.”

“Actually yes, it actually is that bad. Pick literally anything else. Actually no, not literally anything, pick something that won't get us beat up by the local teens for looking like idiots.”  
Taeyong replied with a brief ‘yes sir’ and a kiss before continuing to sort through the ridiculous amount of bucket hats piled up on a table.

Jonghyun was content to watch the other, admiring his boyfriend’s concentration face, only stopping briefly to knock a bucket hat with cat ears out of the other’s hands.

“Found it! It’s perfect!”

Jonghyun doubted it, but Taeyong could do no wrong so if he said it was perfect, then it was perfect.

Taeyong held up a bucket hat with a turtle shell pattern on it urging his long suffering boyfriend to put it on. Jonghyun gently took the hat and watched as Taeyong picked up another hat that was green and had frog eyes on top.

“See? Forget couple’s outfits, we can have couple’s bucket hats!”

It was the worst thing Jonghyun had heard of.

“You’re right, this is the best thing I’ve heard of!”

Taeyong beamed at his boyfriend before running over to the counter with the hats. Jonghyun watched in dismay as the love of his life picked up two pangolin shaped hats from a nearby rack, and added them to his stack on the counter. Jonghyun fought to keep his mouth shut, he would do anything to make his boyfriend happy, as long as his boyfriend was the one paying of course.

“I love you.”

The intensity in Taeyong’s eyes almost made Jonghyun flinch.

They were laying on the park’s tennis court at midnight, stargazing under the chilling night sky.

Taeyong’s black jacket, black jeans, and black hair had nothing on the depth of his eyes. Jonghyun found himself staring into those eyes to meet the intense stare. There was no sign of hesitation, shyness, or uncertainty. As changing as Taeyong was, Jonghyun could tell this was a part of Taeyong that was stable, solid, and unwavering.

Love confessions were nothing new to either of them. Brief ‘love you’s in text messages and goodbyes combined with the times they choked laughing together, barely getting out an ‘I love you so much’ whenever their happiness nearly got in the way of their breathing for the moment meant there was little room to doubt their affection for each other.

Jonghyun knew better to question the statement. Taeyong’s words and gaze gave no room for any response of ‘really?’ or ‘are you sure?’.

Jonghyun could tell the other wasn’t looking for a response of any kind anyways. In place of any words, Jonghyun reached out to the other, pulling him in for a kiss. Taeyong let himself be pulled forward, not stopping his momentum and in the end, landing himself right on top of the other. The two laid like that for a while, kissing each other under the stars. It was slow and lazy and each of them faded from their surroundings for a while just to be with each other.

Their impromptu makeout session was interrupted by headlights pulling up in the parking lot. It was only then that Jonghyun remembered where they were, and at the same time, remembered they were technically trespassing. The tennis courts had closed at 10pm, the gate shut and locked. Of course Taeyong had shown a small gap in the chain link fence, urging Jonghyun to squeeze through with him when they had arrived just before midnight.

Before he could make out the car as a random park visitor or a police car, Taeyong had grabbed him by the arm and taken off running.

The two took off through the fence and through the park before they were running through the empty streets laughing like idiots.

The two didn’t stop until they were in front of Taeyong’s apartment, stopping at the bottom of the stairs, out of breath and still laughing.

Taeyong crashed himself into Jonghyun, intending to pick up where they left off but had to back away when the giggling picked up again.

“That was ridiculous, what was that? 10 blocks of running? At least?” Jonghyun said, still panting, heart still racing, “Was that even a cop?”

“I don’t know,” Taeyong took a deep breath trying to keep it together. “But I wasn’t about to find out. Trespassing is only cute when you are a teenager, as an adult it will get you arrested.”

“I can’t believe we did that, it’s like we’re 16,” Jonghyun finally caught his breath, “I didn’t even do stuff like this when I was 16.” That got a laugh out of his boyfriend.

“Well you know what they say, it’s never too late to start.” Taeyong straightened himself out before pulling a smile that Jonghyun knew all too well. “Let’s head upstairs before anyone else sees us loitering around.”

Snow fell outside the window.

Taeyong’s apartment didn’t allow fireplaces so the two had improvised with scented candles. It could have been romantic if the candles were some odd dozen of different scents clearly bought from the nearby convenience store and hoarded over the years.

The two of them were cuddled together on the couch in their pajamas, wrapped in several layers of blankets. The movie on the laptop had been paused long ago, Taeyong no longer having enough energy to pay attention. The other had sighed and tucked his face into Jonghyun’s neck, his grayish hair tickling his boyfriends face.

Jonghyun didn’t mind the change of pace. It was difficult to be active in winter anyways, and if winter meant spending days curled up on the couch or in bed with Taeyong, then so be it.

No he didn’t mind the cold sleepy days, what he minded was the clear sadness that was permanently etched into his boyfriend’s features. Jonghyun knew in his heart that he would do anything to take away that sadness, that he would go to the ends of the world to see Taeyong smile again. Not the polite smiles, the apologetic smiles, or even the wavering reassuring smiles he would use to try and cheer up the other with. No, Jonghyun wanted to see Taeyong smile a real smile again.

Knowing he was willing to do anything it took didn’t change the fact that in the end, there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t make Taeyong laugh if nothing could make him laugh. He couldn’t make Taeyong smile not because of Jonghyun’s own shortcomings, but because Jonghyun was a part of the world, and there was nothing in the world that could bring Taeyong real happiness in the winter months.

Taeyong had profusely apologized to the point of tears when he noticed his boyfriends despair at his inability to help. That was when Jonghyun had consciously changed his attitude towards the situation. He couldn’t let his own frustration affect Taeyong. He had to think differently.

Jonghyun had given up trying to be Taeyong’s happiness.

He now had to become his comfort.

Tears wet his shirt and he pulled back to look at his gray haired love.

“Yongie, what wrong?” Jonghyun moved his hand to wipe away the other’s tears.

“I don’t know how long I can do this-”

The confession brought about more tears and eventually a sob from him. Jonghyun could do nothing more than to pull the other to his chest and hold him tight.

“I know, I know. Spring still seems so far away, but I promise, I’ll be by your side each day until then.” Taeyong pulled back and tried to wipe his own tears.

“How? How can you stand being with me through all these changes? I can barely stand me, how can you expect to do this forever?”

Jonghyun brushed aside the other’s hands to replace with his own, giving up on wiping away the never ending stream of tears to just hold the other’s face.

“How can I stand you? How can you stand me? I'm boring compared to you. You’re dynamic, always changing, bringing new experiences into my life. How can you be with someone as bland as me?”

What was supposed to be a reassurance for Taeyong, ended up being a confession of insecurities for Jonghyun himself. Jonghyun hated himself to the tears that started to well up in his own eyes, he was supposed to be comforting his boyfriend, not taking out his own frustrations on him.

Taeyong sniffed once, lifting his hand until he mirrored the other, each of them holding the other’s face in their hands.

“Babe, I love you for who you are. You are the constant in my life. You are the comfort and security in my life. You are my anchor. I can never get bored of you, no. I can see myself loving you for the rest of my life.” Jonghyun smiled as Taeyong took his hand.

“You promise?”

“Promise.”

Just as the sun comes up every morning, spring eventually came.

Jonghyun was walking with an excited Taeyong to a butterfly conservatory, barely keeping in his own excitement for other reasons. Jonghyun walked hand in hand through the rooms of flowers and butterflies, smiling whenever one would take a liking to Taeyong’s purple hair.

Although he never let go of the other’s hand, Jonghyun’s free hand stayed in his jacket pocket, fiddling with the ring box hidden inside. He was thinking of a spring wedding. Of course, he couldn’t wait to be engaged to Taeyong, and every season he came in.

**Author's Note:**

> *waves shyly* Hi LOVEs! I'm an nctzen but I also like nu'est (so naturally I wrote from JR's POV cuz I hate myself) but let me know how I did on characterization. Although I'm not deep enough into the fandom to be a LOVE I still love the boys and their songs  
> If you are an NCTzen reading this, have mercy. I swear I love Taeyong.  
> Everyone feel free to comment! Whether you noticed references or whether you just like certain parts, I also except comments in forms of ":D". Criticism is allowed, after all I did bring this upon you all. If i made so many mistakes its unreadable, let me know.  
> Thanks for reading!


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